shivering in the cold

“tonight there was a violent storm. the winds threatened and the rain poured. all around our house you heard the creaking and strain of the tiny weaknesses the wind had begun to take advantage of, while the rain pounded the roof with an astounding beat.

i cannot sleep this night. the storm has matched my feelings in entirety, its intensity matching my own anxiety. i couldn’t bear sitting still.

now that we’re apart
though not through choice
do we stay mute
or raise our voice?

i needed to breathe. i needed to move. i wanted to be a part of that storm. i wanted to feel its anger.

and so i did. i closed the door, turned off everything except for the music that fueled my determination. i opened the blinds, then the window. and the sound of the rain was so beautiful. and i could not remember hearing such a beautiful sound in a while. i couldn’t help but sigh. the screen was the hard task, but i managed to take it out without much noise. a gust of wind blew huge droplets of rain into my hair and face.

i put on a thin sweater over my tanktop. it covered my short shorts, so only my legs, hands, and face were exposed. and i climbed out onto the slippery roof barefoot. the power of the wind was extreme and the rain fell mercilessly. i loved it. i sat for a short time until my legs led me up towards the peak of the roof. climbing up and over
the side until i reached the very top, i sat in the cold and rain and wind. and i shivered.

it was as if all my emotion was let out into the storm. there was lightning in the distance. i sat here for only a few minutes, finally giving in to the cold. my feet and hands were frozen but i couldn’t help but smile when i reached the windowsill and warmth of the room i previously loathed. my hair was very wet, and my sweater soaked. i was cold but am glad for it.

and i felt as if someone, or something, understood. ”

when nobody else could.